1000 Psychic Wars (Confessions of a Girl Gamer)

I am just old enough to remember when gaming didn't exist. I remember Pong, I remember the Sega Wars, but mostly I remember being on the sidelines, because those consoles were expensive, addictive and the boys I ran with didn't like sharing.
Back then, we girlfriends were largely ornamental: bringers of refreshments,  tidiers of rat-trap student housing, targets of awkward advances and someone to regale with stories of heroic pixel pummeling...but not someone you shared a controller with.

I found it boring and frustrating, but then, so were most of the games. I'd hang around long enough to establish I wasn't going to get a turn then go back to practicing guitar, listening to The Wall and Olias of Sunhillo through my headphones.  Still, I was a gamer. A player of D&D and GURPS, an avid collector of Dragon Magazine and a regular at the local comic book/game store.

I was a gamer, but didn't get to play VIDEO games until the dawn of the MMPORPG era, when I bought my own computer. I enjoyed running around with my little pixel girls. Sure, most other female players I met were actually dudes playing a female avatar, but that just sort of leveled things out--enough gender-swapping went on that we were all treated as players, not as intrusions or trophies. There certainly was a lot of testosterone but I don't recall a lot of misogyny.

Then gaming as an industry really took off and the PVP (player versus player) crowd rose in power. These players were NOT into role-playing, they were weaned on first-person shooters--just them and their good buddies shooting up a playing field of pixel people.  This type of player didn't bother with spending months building up their characters, they'd buy their competitive edge by paying someone to level up for them, by exploiting glitches and hacking cheat codes.  Some of this had always gone on, but this new kind of player did it so they could pillage at will, with no feeling or sympathy for the very real people behind the pixels they attacked. And they loathed role players, calling us weak, girly and deserving of destruction.

Now, I have no doubt many of them were very pleasant in person, but in-game, they RAWKED SUXXORZ. This new kind of gamer was more mainstream, less escapist. They were ruthless strategists:  super-aggressive, take-no-prisoners, "it's just a game, suck it and die" bro-holes.  Some, no doubt, were young, ignorant (and probably 12) but some of them reeeeaaally hated women and took joy in picking on the weak. 

Incomprehensibly, that bully element became the demographic the market catered to. It wasn't fun anymore and there were plenty of men with that mentality in my real life. So I got out of gaming.

I still consider myself to be a gamer at heart-- I keep up with the trade news, read the reviews and hang out with my kid as he plays on his Xbox 360 (not online).  I don't play any more myself.

I miss when gaming was fun. When I didn't feel that being a girl was going to be an issue.

 Which brings me back to #GamerGate.  What is it and what do they want?  I confess, I haven't been aware of them very long but from what I've read, they are an online/gaming chatgroup cum  guerrilla/hacker organization devoted to exposing and destroying any developer, public speaker or, indeed, any person in the gaming world who does not adhere to their concept of what "true gaming" should be and who should belong in it.

They primarily target women who are in the business, or who study the gaming community.  Their weapons of choice are threats, harassment, and cyber-bullying that truly reaches criminal levels. They are organized, they are merciless and they are righteous.

Kinda sounds like ISIS, doesn't it? At least one sociologist has already labeled them as a hate group.

Why are they getting so much attention? Who are their members? What is their problem, anyway?

Gawker.com has a whole slew of articles on the subject. Totally worth reading so I won't go too far into it here, but for you slackers who don't feel like reading, here is what the consensus seems to feel is the particular bee in the members of #GamerGate's bonnet : "traditional gamers" have had their 15 minutes but aren't ready to fade back to being a fringe culture.

I find that reasoning far too simplistic and as an old-school geek-girl, more than little insulting.  I can see how the withdrawal of that tide of mainstream acceptance has left a few of the sadder cases of socially awkward gamer flopping impotently on the shore. But the #GamerGate people don't come across as socially awkward. On the contrary, they are media-savvy and well-versed in the use and abuse of political mind control. What they lack is empathy.
They remind me of the PVPers I used to have to deal with.

Here's what I think: These guys just get off on being cruel. They get a rush from spreading fear and destruction without accountability. It's just a game to them, a flag to rally around, something to relieve the boredom. And that detachment from real consequences, that lack of empathy, illustrates why this group is such a problem.

This is NOT just a game. Nobody should have fear for their safety, their families safety, their jobs, etc. Gaming is NOT a religious cause. Even if it were, there would still be no justification for this bully-mob to embrace the destruction of real human beings as if they were just another pixel avatar.

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So, Revelers, what do you think? Are we on the eve of a new Culture War? Is #GamerGate made up guerilla freedom fighters? Are they a bunch of bitter, misogynist trolls trying to extend their moment in the sun? Or are they the latest manifestation of a more sinister, entrenched attitude?

Weigh in!

--Gabz

Charts! Charts! And MORE Charts!

So Gabz, what have you been doing this week?
Well, I'm glad you asked. I have been taking a MUSIC THEORY class. An advanced one, actually, because this class is all about arranging music.

That's right, suddenly I'm Miss Composition, 24-7.
It means (among other things) that I take a lot of notes. All this week, I have been reviewing what I learned in all my previous theory classes and have written brand new notes. I'm practically writing my own theory book (not really).

The Mysterious Circle of Fifths

This is a chart showing the Circle of Fifths.  This bad boy has haunted my dreams and crushed my weak, theory-deficient soul for more years than I care to admit. It is the reason I am back in music school at my age.  This small, unassuming chart is primarily responsible for my  FOUR failed attempts at music theory and at least ONE nervous breakdown.

I know, I know, it gives me a headache too. 

Look at it. Glaring like some baleful Eye of Sauron, mocking my pathetic attempts to understand. It is the gold standard of chord progression references and oh, don't think it isn't aware.  But why does it even exist?

Following along, you can see that all the major chords (the green ring) are arranged so that the last note in the chord (the 5th), becomes the first note in the next chord (the root). Do that for every chord in the scale and you circle back around to your very first chord again, like a clock. Thus, The Circle. Of 5ths. Get it?

The inner blue ring shows those green chords, spelled out. The orange circle represents the same chords in minor keys  and the white middle? Uh...it you how many accidentals exist in each chord scale. The peacock tail sticking out off the bottom? Enharmonics. Those are chords that sound exactly like the chords they're closest to in green ring (e.g., C# sounds like Db). Why does one chord have two different names? Because Theory, that's why.

My Lord, I Have A CUNNING PLAN!

I do not say that centuries of clever music composers got it wrong, but I have trouble keeping the above chart in my head without getting hopelessly confused. To make it easier to learn (and finally pass my theory classes) I decided to make my own version of the Circle of 5ths. I started by writing out the middle circle and creating an accidentals chart for both major and minor chords:

How many sharps in the key of Dmaj? 2! what notes are sharp? F and C.

Pretty, isn't it?
What you're looking at is a chart that shows:

• The number of accidentals (i.e. sharps or flats) in a major key
• The key in question
• What the specific sharps or flats are and
• Whether that key has a little  enharmonic friend. 

Minor keys are much the same, only with different notes and FAR too many variations. I'll spare you the long version, but just to give you an idea, all that charting explains why key signatures are so very, very confusing. They look like THIS:

Knowing that two sharps = the key of D is so much easier than reading all those lines. 

Know The Code of the Romans

 So my plan worked and I PASSED Music Theory I and II. And if all you want to do is identify key signature, the chart above works great!  But I'm in Music Arranging and Composition now, and all the things I didn't understand but kind of skated on--like knowing how each key, with all its accidentals, look on a scale, understanding the deliciously silky evil that is the 7th chord and it's variations and being able to write all this down so other people can follow my scores...Well I have to nail those concepts down or die trying.

And then there's that little matter of the ROMAN NUMERAL code.

Roman numerals (like the Circle of 5ths) are a handy musical device--a set of structural rules that give shape and meaning to music beyond the basic notes. Whilst improvising with musicians you may not have worked with before, having a common playbook helps.

Roman numerals are particularly special because, while they direct the action, they don't change with the key. So (for example) if your playing a song in the key of G and your frontman calls out, "Switch to C at the bridge!" you, and everybody else in the band, will know how to modify what you're playing so the notes come out right.  Using Roman Numerals also allows for bands like Axis of Awesome to create this:

 But I digress.  I couldn't visualize the the wonder of the roman numeral code in all it's glory without writing out each and every scale and it's chords. [Did you know each scale set (major, minor or their variations) contains roughly 15 scales? I kid you not.]

If One Chart Is Good, Two Must Be Twice As Good, Right?

Here's the chart I did for just the basic major scales. Note that the scale key is marked in red and reads from left to right. The root chord for that key is marked in blue and (for you jazz 7th chord people) in purple. I added a quick reference chart to make it easier to read and identify chord triads on the fly.

What? You don't know what a chord triad is? Check out that box at your lower left.


Here's where it gets fun: A Cmaj chord sounds the same no matter what key you're playing in, but it may look entirely different, depending on the key you're playing in (example, a C in the scale of C would be written without accidentals--C, E, G. Write the same chord in the key of Ab and you have to designate your E as a natural).

Are you lost yet? Ahh, then you understand my dilemma, and why I've made these charts. Music is a written, technical language, like BASIC or SQL.  And like English, it's easy to learn, but difficult to comprehend.  I am getting better, but until I can put the basics in a format I can understand, I won't get too far.


If you find any of these charts useful to you, feel free to download a copy.  If you're hopelessly lost in all the technical jargon, don't worry. I'll talk about something more approachable next post.
And if you want clarification (or want to offer me clarification, Please! Message or leave me a comment.

Later, Revelers!

--Gabz

300: A Great Movie (But A Terrible Number On Your Bathroom Scale)

300. Half-tone lighting, sweaty, buffed and beyond semi-naked men and carnage in the name of SPARTA!  What's not to like? 

Well, nothing, really. Except I am not some skinny minnie hardbody. Never have been! I am built of generous, va-va-voom peasant stock. The battle for awesome abs is one I've fought (and usually lost) for nearly my entire adult life. But being somewhat athletic, I rarely let my weight get too terribly out of control. I could usually get back down to something performance weight within a reasonable amount of time...until I stopped performing. 

Oh that's right. I'm a performer. Music is my fix and singing is how I get my high. I've been doing it professionally for a long time (20+ years) and see no reason to stop. 

Well, that was before breathing issues and an experimental DVT operation took me out of the game almost three years ago. What I was passing off as a bad case of bronchitis turned out to be pulmonary emboli (that's blood clots in the lungs)--I could barely get through a sentence, let alone belt out a song. The condition landed me in ICU for a stretch then months of therapy and blood thinners for life.  I've been able to write, produce, even sing eventually, but standing long periods or strenuous exercise? Well. My specialist wasn't too keen on the idea, not until she had assessed my results.  

The recovery and assessment took a couple years. Two years of sedentary living, learning how to walk and breathe properly again. Did I get fat? Ohhh, yes, I got fat. I mean,  REALLY BIG. Frankly obese and perilously close to the dreaded 300 mark.  I'd stare gloomily into the mirror and think,"But my face is still pretty!"  How we do hold on to those small shreds of dignity and denial! Reality: my face was beginning to disappear behind a second chin. What's worse, my muscles were atrophying--climbing stairs was difficult and carrying anything downstairs became impossible. I spent 2013 in a quiet panic until finally, the blessed day came when I was cleared to exercise. 

I excitedly started planning my comeback. Worked out the songs, started putting feelers out for sidemen, venues and...

NOTHING I OWN FITS. Not even the shoes. And O. M. G. Dance routines? Even on a good day, my two-step is more of a five-step stagger. I am not ready to go on stage.

But there's hope for me yet, dear reader. I've been swimming all summer (all the effort, half the gravity). It hasn't resulted in much of a weight loss (20 lbs) but I'm now strong enough to brave dry land. Yesterday, consulted with a therapist and started the Great Comeback Reclamation Project, starring me. 

My reward will be a small concert tour next summer. 

From time to time, I'll update you on my progress. If you'd like to join me, download two smartphone apps: Fitbit and Track My Walk. With them, you can log your calorie intake, exercise, plot world domination and all sorts of other cool things. If enough interest is expressed, I'll start a Facebook page just for the Diva Blue Diet Peeps.